really need things to get better

[Sphinx]

is all. just need it to be better. i know far worse things are going
on in the world. so i'm a spoiled brat. why is this whole humanity
thing happening anyway? if i was a chimpanzee, i could just
legitimately suffer being the outcast. but humans are required to
have a mortgage and a social security card and a driver's license and
an email address. this whole human experiment thing has run it's
course.

[Dave]

Hey Sphinx,

I don't reject you. And you are not a spoiled brat, you are just dealing
with serious depression and some unhappy personal circumstances. Do wish I
knew what to say to make you feel better. For me, I had to change my
approach to life itself somewhat, choosing to focus on one thing and not the
other, to make a difference. But I was somehow able to do that. Not sure
how though. And I do it all day, most days now. Pull myself up by my
bootstraps? Sounds like utter bullshit. But I am able, most times, to
somehow "turn my head" and look at one thing and not another, and it doesn't
change anything in the external world, but it seems to change the way I feel
about it all.

Wish this could somehow help with your situation. Do you have any hobbies?
Read much? What would you *like* to do? (Anything?)

Sorry, this is just all I have. And I just now saw your message, which is
why I am just now replying. Do hope you are somehow able to turn the
corner, and feel better.

Take it easy...

Dave

Post by Sphinx
is all. just need it to be better. i know far worse things are going
on in the world. so i'm a spoiled brat. why is this whole humanity
thing happening anyway? if i was a chimpanzee, i could just
legitimately suffer being the outcast. but humans are required to
have a mortgage and a social security card and a driver's license and
an email address. this whole human experiment thing has run it's
course.

[Dave]

Hey again,

Realized earlier that I totally left out 25 years of intensive individual
therapy with an analyst (maybe should be capitalized, I don't know...) and
accompanying medication, in my post. Sorry, didn't mean too. I just didn't
think of it at the time...

Hope you are doing okay.

Dave

Post by Dave
Hey Sphinx,
I don't reject you. And you are not a spoiled brat, you are just dealing
with serious depression and some unhappy personal circumstances. Do wish
I knew what to say to make you feel better. For me, I had to change my
approach to life itself somewhat, choosing to focus on one thing and not
the other, to make a difference. But I was somehow able to do that. Not
sure how though. And I do it all day, most days now. Pull myself up by
my bootstraps? Sounds like utter bullshit. But I am able, most times, to
somehow "turn my head" and look at one thing and not another, and it
doesn't change anything in the external world, but it seems to change the
way I feel about it all.
Wish this could somehow help with your situation. Do you have any
hobbies? Read much? What would you *like* to do? (Anything?)
Sorry, this is just all I have. And I just now saw your message, which is
why I am just now replying. Do hope you are somehow able to turn the
corner, and feel better.
Take it easy...
Dave

Post by Sphinx
is all. just need it to be better. i know far worse things are going
on in the world. so i'm a spoiled brat. why is this whole humanity
thing happening anyway? if i was a chimpanzee, i could just
legitimately suffer being the outcast. but humans are required to
have a mortgage and a social security card and a driver's license and
an email address. this whole human experiment thing has run it's
course.

[Eleanor Rigby]

Hey Sphinx,

Hope you are feeling better by now. Sorry I haven't been around much;
I've been battling double-pneumonia.

I'm on meds and did four years of therapy but didn't really start
getting much better until I went to work part-time. I did that for
about 6 years, and now work full-time.

I'm not saying it was/is easy, but it got me out of my head, which is
where I was spending all my time. It wasn't a fun place to be.

On my days off, I sleep in; take naps on weekends. I get really tired.
But, I have to say it *really* helped with my recovery.

Not overnight...nowhere near it. And I say "recovery"...it's a
journey, not a destination, in my opinion. I know that I look at life
and the world differently than "normies" and I think I always will,
but I'm so much better than where I was.

I wish you the best,
ER

[Dave]

Hey Sphinx,

How you doing? Hope things are getting a little better for you, at least.
Was just wondering...

Don't really know what else to say, but I wanted to let you know you are in
my thoughts. Take care,

Dave

Post by Sphinx
is all. just need it to be better. i know far worse things are going
on in the world. so i'm a spoiled brat. why is this whole humanity
thing happening anyway? if i was a chimpanzee, i could just
legitimately suffer being the outcast. but humans are required to
have a mortgage and a social security card and a driver's license and
an email address. this whole human experiment thing has run it's
course.

[Sphinx]

Post by Dave
Hey Sphinx,
How you doing?  Hope things are getting a little better for you, at least.
Was just wondering...
Don't really know what else to say, but I wanted to let you know you are in
my thoughts.  Take care,
Dave

is all.  just need it to be better.  i know far worse things are going
on in the world.  so i'm a spoiled brat.  why is this whole humanity
thing happening anyway?  if i was a chimpanzee, i could just
legitimately suffer being the outcast.  but humans are required to
have a mortgage and a social security card and a driver's license and
an email address.  this whole human experiment thing has run it's
course.

hi Dave and Ricki, thank-you for the responses. describing thoughts
been difficult.
could be menopause. it's all about brain chemistry. up to 150mg
effexor. hope it works. Dave, have you been to the electronics
candystore? Ricki, how is the bionic knee?

[Dave]

Post by Sphinx

Post by Dave
Hey Sphinx,
How you doing? Hope things are getting a little better for you, at least.
Was just wondering...
Don't really know what else to say, but I wanted to let you know you are in
my thoughts. Take care,
Dave

is all. just need it to be better. i know far worse things are going
on in the world. so i'm a spoiled brat. why is this whole humanity
thing happening anyway? if i was a chimpanzee, i could just
legitimately suffer being the outcast. but humans are required to
have a mortgage and a social security card and a driver's license and
an email address. this whole human experiment thing has run it's
course.

hi Dave and Ricki, thank-you for the responses. describing thoughts
been difficult.
could be menopause. it's all about brain chemistry. up to 150mg
effexor. hope it works. Dave, have you been to the electronics
candystore? Ricki, how is the bionic knee?

I've been there a couple times, looking for parts for my latest project,
which will tell me which circuit breaker a given plug is on. :) Thanks for
asking.

It frequently is all about brain chemistry, unfortunately. Some chemicle
not getting where it's supposed to be in sufficient quantities, or too much
of it at one time. What amazes me is how often things work the way they are
supposed to. So many things to go wrong, and only one or two actually do,
but look at the consequences...

Do hope things even out for you. And soon.

((((HUGS)))) if that's okay...

Dave

[Eleanor Rigby]

On Tue, 27 Apr 2010 20:36:59 CST, Sphinx <***@gmail.com>
wrote:

hi Dave and Ricki, thank-you for the responses. describing thoughts
been difficult.
could be menopause. it's all about brain chemistry. up to 150mg
effexor. hope it works. Dave, have you been to the electronics
candystore? Ricki, how is the bionic knee?


Hi girl! I hope the effexor works for you. It worked for me, but
raised my blood pressure (and I typically have quite low bp), so my
doc took me off. You've probably been warned to watch for that.

The knee is coming along. It will be 5 months on Saturday. Still
having some swelling occasionally, but as long as I'm not on my feet
for too long at a time, it does very well.

I'm about over the double pneumonia that had me hospitalized for four
days last month. I'm right there with ya about wanting things to get
better.

2010 has been one nightmare after another at our house. Its just gotta
get better!!

For both of us :)

[Dave]

Post by Sphinx

Post by Dave
Hey Sphinx,
How you doing? Hope things are getting a little better for you, at least.
Was just wondering...
Don't really know what else to say, but I wanted to let you know you are in
my thoughts. Take care,
Dave

is all. just need it to be better. i know far worse things are going
on in the world. so i'm a spoiled brat. why is this whole humanity
thing happening anyway? if i was a chimpanzee, i could just
legitimately suffer being the outcast. but humans are required to
have a mortgage and a social security card and a driver's license and
an email address. this whole human experiment thing has run it's
course.

hi Dave and Ricki, thank-you for the responses. describing thoughts
been difficult.
could be menopause. it's all about brain chemistry. up to 150mg
effexor. hope it works. Dave, have you been to the electronics
candystore? Ricki, how is the bionic knee?

Just a quick re-hi, and a note on my latest project. Used a transistor last
night that I've had in my junk-box for over 30 years. Bought it with a
bunch of misc. junk in bulk from the Radio Shack in the central Texas town I
grew up in. Was testing my home-built circuit breaker idendifier and
realized I was about to burn out the main transistor, drawing too much power
through it. Went through my drawer of power transistors, and started
looking up the specs on some of them. Put one in the circuit instead of the
dinky transistor I had there, and man, it took off! Working like a
powerhouse now. Just need to put it in a case, and test it in the real
world. May have even learned something...

Hope you're doing okay. You are definetly in my thoughts. Warm wishes
pointed your direction.

Dave

[Dave]

Post by Dave

Post by Sphinx

Post by Dave
Hey Sphinx,
How you doing? Hope things are getting a little better for you, at least.
Was just wondering...
Don't really know what else to say, but I wanted to let you know you are in
my thoughts. Take care,
Dave

is all. just need it to be better. i know far worse things are going
on in the world. so i'm a spoiled brat. why is this whole humanity
thing happening anyway? if i was a chimpanzee, i could just
legitimately suffer being the outcast. but humans are required to
have a mortgage and a social security card and a driver's license and
an email address. this whole human experiment thing has run it's
course.

hi Dave and Ricki, thank-you for the responses. describing thoughts
been difficult.
could be menopause. it's all about brain chemistry. up to 150mg
effexor. hope it works. Dave, have you been to the electronics
candystore? Ricki, how is the bionic knee?

Just a quick re-hi, and a note on my latest project. Used a transistor
last night that I've had in my junk-box for over 30 years. Bought it with
a bunch of misc. junk in bulk from the Radio Shack in the central Texas
town I grew up in. Was testing my home-built circuit breaker idendifier
and realized I was about to burn out the main transistor, drawing too much
power through it. Went through my drawer of power transistors, and
started looking up the specs on some of them. Put one in the circuit
instead of the dinky transistor I had there, and man, it took off!
Working like a powerhouse now. Just need to put it in a case, and test it
in the real world. May have even learned something...
Hope you're doing okay. You are definetly in my thoughts. Warm wishes
pointed your direction.
Dave

Hey Sphinx,

Just a quick additional note on the circuit breaker identifier I am building
in my workshop. Just got back from the electronics candystore, where I
picked up a couple of small-signal amplifier transistors, to drive the power
transistor I mentioned earlier, and looked to see what the power transistor
I bought 30 or 35 years ago was going for now. I bought them for something
like ten cents, or maybe fifteen cents back then, and the same transistor
goes for $7.50 now. Others are similarly more expensive. So I have a
couple hundred dollars worth of transistors in my little blue sliding-drawer
organizer that I never threw away and bothered to keep up with. Cool. Wish
I had all the transformers I threw away, but oh well. Don't even remember
what else I tossed out while moving four or five times. But I kept the most
valuable stuff. I think.

Anyways, I was pleased to find out that these transistors are still in
production, and are much more valuable. And, based on experiments with the
circuit I built up to this point, I expect to have my prototype finished in
the next day or two. Then it will just be a matter of putting the finished
circuits into a case, and putting the two pieces to work, figuring out
exactly which plugs and which lights are on which ciruit breakers, so I can
begin thinking about rewiring the house, one plug at a time.

Sorry if I am wasting bandwidth, and I hope someone actually does enjoy
hearing about this nonsense. If so, please let me know, or I may cut back
on things. I enjoy sharing it, but don't want to just waste everyone's
time.

Take it easy...

Dave

[Sphinx]

Post by Dave

Post by Dave
Hey Sphinx,
How you doing? Hope things are getting a little better for you, at least.
Was just wondering...
Don't really know what else to say, but I wanted to let you know you are in
my thoughts. Take care,
Dave

is all. just need it to be better. i know far worse things are going
on in the world. so i'm a spoiled brat. why is this whole humanity
thing happening anyway? if i was a chimpanzee, i could just
legitimately suffer being the outcast. but humans are required to
have a mortgage and a social security card and a driver's license and
an email address. this whole human experiment thing has run it's
course.

hi Dave and Ricki,  thank-you for the responses.  describing thoughts
been difficult.
could be menopause.  it's all about brain chemistry.  up to 150mg
effexor.  hope it works.  Dave, have you been to the electronics
candystore?  Ricki, how is the bionic knee?

Just a quick re-hi, and a note on my latest project.  Used a transistor
last night that I've had in my junk-box for over 30 years.  Bought it with
a bunch of misc. junk in bulk from the Radio Shack in the central Texas
town I grew up in.  Was testing my home-built circuit breaker idendifier
and realized I was about to burn out the main transistor, drawing too much
power through it.  Went through my drawer of power transistors, and
started looking up the specs on some of them.  Put one in the circuit
instead of the dinky transistor I had there, and man, it took off!
Working like a powerhouse now.  Just need to put it in a case, and test it
in the real world.  May have even learned something...
Hope you're doing okay.  You are definetly in my thoughts.  Warm wishes
pointed your direction.
Dave

Hey Sphinx,
Just a quick additional note on the circuit breaker identifier I am building
in my workshop.  Just got back from the electronics candystore, where I
picked up a couple of small-signal amplifier transistors, to drive the power
transistor I mentioned earlier, and looked to see what the power transistor
I bought 30 or 35 years ago was going for now.  I bought them for something
like ten cents, or maybe fifteen cents back then, and the same transistor
goes for $7.50 now.  Others are similarly more expensive.  So I have a
couple hundred dollars worth of transistors in my little blue sliding-drawer
organizer that I never threw away and bothered to keep up with.  Cool.  Wish
I had all the transformers I threw away, but oh well.  Don't even remember
what else I tossed out while moving four or five times.  But I kept the most
valuable stuff.  I think.
Anyways, I was pleased to find out that these transistors are still in
production, and are much more valuable.  And, based on experiments with the
circuit I built up to this point, I expect to have my prototype finished in
the next day or two.  Then it will just be a matter of putting the finished
circuits into a case, and putting the two pieces to work, figuring out
exactly which plugs and which lights are on which ciruit breakers, so I can
begin thinking about rewiring the house, one plug at a time.
Sorry if I am wasting bandwidth, and I hope someone actually does enjoy
hearing about this nonsense.  If so, please let me know, or I may cut back
on things.  I enjoy sharing it, but don't want to just waste everyone's
time.
Take it easy...
Dave

hi Dave, yes, circuit breakers have been on my mind. my water heater
draws too much electricity, i think. tripped the breaker until the
breaker doesn't work anymore. duplexes next street over were built
with stab-lok panels. this is southeast florida. one homeowner
turned the heater on. sparks from the breaker panel and the fire
gutted the house. i just want my hot water heater to work. once in a
while i hear sparks from the breaker panel. it's not stab-lok. i
like hearing about your projects.

[Dave]

Post by Sphinx

Post by Dave

Post by Dave
Hey Sphinx,
How you doing? Hope things are getting a little better for you, at least.
Was just wondering...
Don't really know what else to say, but I wanted to let you know you
are
in
my thoughts. Take care,
Dave

is all. just need it to be better. i know far worse things are going
on in the world. so i'm a spoiled brat. why is this whole humanity
thing happening anyway? if i was a chimpanzee, i could just
legitimately suffer being the outcast. but humans are required to
have a mortgage and a social security card and a driver's license and
an email address. this whole human experiment thing has run it's
course.

hi Dave and Ricki, thank-you for the responses. describing thoughts
been difficult.
could be menopause. it's all about brain chemistry. up to 150mg
effexor. hope it works. Dave, have you been to the electronics
candystore? Ricki, how is the bionic knee?

Just a quick re-hi, and a note on my latest project. Used a transistor
last night that I've had in my junk-box for over 30 years. Bought it
with
a bunch of misc. junk in bulk from the Radio Shack in the central Texas
town I grew up in. Was testing my home-built circuit breaker idendifier
and realized I was about to burn out the main transistor, drawing too much
power through it. Went through my drawer of power transistors, and
started looking up the specs on some of them. Put one in the circuit
instead of the dinky transistor I had there, and man, it took off!
Working like a powerhouse now. Just need to put it in a case, and test
it
in the real world. May have even learned something...
Hope you're doing okay. You are definetly in my thoughts. Warm wishes
pointed your direction.
Dave

Hey Sphinx,
Just a quick additional note on the circuit breaker identifier I am building
in my workshop. Just got back from the electronics candystore, where I
picked up a couple of small-signal amplifier transistors, to drive the power
transistor I mentioned earlier, and looked to see what the power transistor
I bought 30 or 35 years ago was going for now. I bought them for
something
like ten cents, or maybe fifteen cents back then, and the same transistor
goes for $7.50 now. Others are similarly more expensive. So I have a
couple hundred dollars worth of transistors in my little blue
sliding-drawer
organizer that I never threw away and bothered to keep up with. Cool.
Wish
I had all the transformers I threw away, but oh well. Don't even remember
what else I tossed out while moving four or five times. But I kept the
most
valuable stuff. I think.
Anyways, I was pleased to find out that these transistors are still in
production, and are much more valuable. And, based on experiments with
the
circuit I built up to this point, I expect to have my prototype finished in
the next day or two. Then it will just be a matter of putting the
finished
circuits into a case, and putting the two pieces to work, figuring out
exactly which plugs and which lights are on which ciruit breakers, so I can
begin thinking about rewiring the house, one plug at a time.
Sorry if I am wasting bandwidth, and I hope someone actually does enjoy
hearing about this nonsense. If so, please let me know, or I may cut back
on things. I enjoy sharing it, but don't want to just waste everyone's
time.
Take it easy...
Dave

hi Dave, yes, circuit breakers have been on my mind. my water heater
draws too much electricity, i think. tripped the breaker until the
breaker doesn't work anymore. duplexes next street over were built
with stab-lok panels. this is southeast florida. one homeowner
turned the heater on. sparks from the breaker panel and the fire
gutted the house. i just want my hot water heater to work. once in a
while i hear sparks from the breaker panel. it's not stab-lok. i
like hearing about your projects.

Hey,

Man, I hate to think of sparks in your breaker box. Do you have an electric
water heater? Ours is gas, like the dryer and stove. Only good thing about
this house, honestly.

Thanks for letting me know you like hearing about my projects, etc. I was
afraid I was just wasting everyone's time and energy. This is just the
stuff I do to keep from going totally crazy.

I think I am going to use the moto-tool I got for Christmas to help modify
my little calculator to make it accept AAA batteries instead of watch
batteries. They ought to last forever in there. The watch batteries last a
year or so, but I get tired of having to go get special batteries. Even if
its only once a year... :) What I want to do is modify my big calculator
to use AA's instead of AAA's. The AAA's only last a year of so, and the
AA's ought to last five or ten times longer than that. Guess I'm just a
fiddler. I have to fiddle with everything. sigh Really, I'm just OCD.
Get an idea in my head and can't get it out until it put it into practice.
double sigh

Take it easy. Thanks for the reply.

Dave